In honor of Marjie

So things have been interesting in the Rhine household over the past few days. With the absence of my hubby, it seems that life takes the opportunity to wreak havoc. I think the toughest part is that both he and I are feeling it. I want nothing more than to have him here to help me through tough times, and I know that he genuinely wants to be here too.  Over the past week, I bought a lawnmower that ended up only having 3 wheels, the AC broke, we had a "sewer-geddeon" with sewage backing up into the house, and my grandmother passed away.  The insurance company has come and torn out all the damaged flooring in the house, and Jason and I will be able to pick out what we want to replace it with.  "Welcome to home ownership" is what everyone is telling us.  If one more person says that, I'm going to punch them.  Well, maybe not, but its nice to dream.

For now, my mind is on my grandmother.

So it all started last week when I got the call from my dad. It was one of those "this is it" calls. After all the calls over the past decade, I could tell the difference in his voice. This time, my grandmother wouldn't make it. On Wednesday she took a fall, as many elderly do, and fell forward hitting her forehead. The blow to her head caused her neck to break. She was taken away to the ER and we were told she had only a few hours left.

Before I go on, let me tell you a little bit more about my grandmother. This woman is such a tough little lady. Between three children, three grandchildren and 67 years of marriage, at 89 years old she is still the most wonderful person to spend time with. It seemed as if love was pouring out of her, and there was always a smile to be had. She was always described as such a sweet lady, but sweet doesn't even touch how wonderful she is. You could tell that she was truly proud of the life that she had lived.  I specifically remember a birthday a few years ago when we bought her a little pink glittery crown that said happy birthday on it.  We meant it as a joke, but she wore that silly thing for 3 days.  When she was asked about it being her birthday, she lit up with a grin and said "Yes! Come meet my wonderful family!"

Anyway, Thursday morning I got another phone call- she's stabilizing, but she can't eat and has refused a feeding tube.  I left on Friday and went to go see her.  I was so nervous of what I would find.  Would she be able to speak?  Would she be too weak?  Would she know who I was?  Would she be the same woman I knew in my heart?  She had been moved to the wing of the retirement community for those who can not care for themselves.  As I walked I could see the hallway littered with the elderly shells of their former selves.  Like a cicada sheddings clinging to a window screen, I could see the blank and empty faces of the people scattered throughout the hall way.  It made me more nervous.

When I got there, her face lit up.  Despite the neck brace and the hospital like bed, her smile was just as dazzling and inspiring as I remembered from our last visit.  Her voice was small, but she still had millions of questions.  How is Jason? I hear you just bought a house?  How is your puppy?  How is your job?  Are you still doing pottery?

Saturday morning when I came to visit, she was still sleeping.  My grandpa and I sat and chatted.  I asked how they met.  He was a dishwasher and she was a waitress.  They dated, he got deployed during the war, and she worked as a flight attendant.  Occasionally they were able to meet up in different cities, and one day they decided to get engaged.  With the uncertainty of the war, three days later they were married in Pasadena, California.  67 years later, he still sat here by her side, still completely in love.  He said that no one believed war marriages would last.  This made me think of Jason and I.  Military, a short engagement, the time apart... I hope that in 67 years we will still be able to look at each other with as much love as my grandparents have today.

Overall, between Friday and Saturday I realized that she was ready and was welcoming her time.  I grew to accept that it would be soon and if she wasn't sad, I shouldn't be either.  It's hard realizing someone will no longer be in your life and too look back longingly for the memories.  The key is to be thankful for today because of yesterday.

She passed Monday morning.  I was driving back from Savannah.  Since Durham is halfway from home to Savannah, I decided to go down and see Jason.  With everything going on, I needed my rock.  So for 2 nights, I soaked in his embrace.

Now I'm packing to go back to Durham.  I found the perfect poem to read at the ceremony.

A song of living- Amelia Burr, American poet (1878 - 1968) 

Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.
I have sent up my gladness on wings, to be lost in the blue of the sky.
I have run and leaped with the rain, I have taken the wind to my breast.
My cheeks like a drowsy child to the face of the earth I have pressed.
Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.  

I have kissed young love on the lips, I have heard his song to the end,
I have struck my hand like a seal in the loyal hand of a friend.
I have known the peace of heaven, the comfort of work done well.
I have longed for death in the darkness and risen alive out of hell.
Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die. 

I gave a share of my soul to the world, when and where my course is run.
I know that another shall finish the task I surely must leave undone.
I know that no flower, nor flint was in vain on the path I trod.
As one looks on a face through a window, through life I have looked on God,
Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

---

Marjorie Ann Schroeder Bratcher of Durham passed away peacefully around 6:30 a.m., Monday, August 13, 2012. She was born in Du Quoin, Illinois, and spent her childhood in southern Illinois, where her father ran a highly successful funeral home. Marjorie Ann received her Bachelor's degree from the University of Illinois in 1944.

The young Miss Schroeder was a pioneer in flight, serving as a flight attendant on a United Air Lines DC-3 in 1944. She married Lt. J.G. Edward Ballance Bratcher, who was serving in the Submarine Corps during World War II. Both of them attended the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky where she obtained her Master's degree in Sacred Music.

Mrs. Bratcher held a cherished place in her heart for her only brother, Herman William Schroeder Jr. "Bud" Schroeder served in the United States Marine Corps during World War II. He gave his life in service to his country during the battle for Tinian Island in the Marianas Islands of the South Pacific.

Many of her years were spent supporting her husband in the work of the Baptist church, as a pianist and children's choir director. Over the years, she helped enrich the lives of hundreds of children by teaching them to play the piano, as well as through her work with autistic children in Waynesboro, Virginia.

She is survived by her husband, Dr. E. B. Bratcher; three children, Dr. Suzanne Jane Bratcher, Richard William and Darlene Ferguson Bratcher, Michael Edward and Annaliese Griffin Bratcher; as well as three grandchildren, Marjorie Jane Hoskins, Katherine Diane Bratcher Rhine, and Herman Michael Bratcher.

Services will be held at 11 a.m., Saturday, August 18, 2012 at the Watts Street Baptist Church in Durham. Any donations should be made to the Benevolent Fund of the UMRH, 2600 Croasdaile Farm Parkway, Durham, N.C., 27705. She was a gracious, beautiful woman who will bring a smile to the lips of many for years to come.